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Love Your Neighbour...part II :: UPR

This is post is the second of a series. I posted 'Love Your Nieghbour: Naked', after remembering some insight I received at a Youth Assembly. But this post came about after a conversation where I was giving a friend advice. I write it to encourage, and to teach. In some way I write to voice my thoughts, into a structure which I can read back on.

So Love Your Neighbour has no conditions on it. In the two greatest commandments, Jesus simply puts it in those three words. Nothing added, no extra bits to make us feel more motivated. We are to do it because he says so.

Loving your neighbour. It's easy to do that with somebody you've never met. A person who you've never had contact with. But what about somebody you know?
How hard is it to do with somebody who has hurt you? Somebody who has insulted you? Somebody you feel negatively towards? Then it get's hard.

Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR) is a theory in counselling, but used in Youth Work. It suggests that the Youth Worker should separate the deed from the young person.

[1]"Unconditional positive regard, a term coined by the humanist Carl Rogers, is blanket acceptance and support of a person regardless of what the person says or does. Rogers believes that unconditional positive regard is essential to healthy development. People who have not experienced it may come to see themselves in the negative ways that others have made them feel. By providing unconditional positive regard, humanist therapists seek to help their clients accept and take responsibility for themselves. Humanist psychologists believe that by showing the client unconditional positive regard and acceptance, the therapist is providing the best possible conditions for personal growth to the client."

So where does this theory fit in to loving a closer neighbour? Well, if we look at this attitude for one second... Separating the deed from the neighbour.

What does this look like? It looks like Jesus. What better example? Jesus, the purest, cleanest, most sinless being who was nailed to a cross for us. Our sin was the deed. We sinned against him, yet he separated this and loved us the same. He died there, so that we may have the right to be called Children of God.

Whenever a friend from the past talks behind your back, you separate this deed from the person and continue to love them. How much easier would it be to forgive them without the deed coming into play?

Just like we should love our neighbour without good conditions added, we should love our neighbour without bad conditions added.

Whenever we walk and live in an attitude where we love our neighbour without the need to have an incentive we can serve fully and in full satisfaction. In the same breath, whenever we walk and live in an attitude where we love our neighbour even though they've hurt us, we can love like Jesus did.

Without events, church outreach, new churches, new pastors, big worship bands and cash, if we love like this... unconditionally, faithfully, radically... how much change can we bring to the people around us, our families, and yes... our town.
In such a dark place, people need light. If love is God, God is Jesus, and Jesus is the radiant light... loving your neighbour can bring this light.

Jesus: "Love your
neighbour." Without fail.

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unconditional_positive_regard

The Student's Nightmare

Procrastination:

"the act of procrastinating; putting off or delaying or defering an action to a later time."
"dilatoriness: slowness as a consequence of not getting around to it."

As I type I procrastinate. Tomorrow I am to hand in a 3000 word essay, 10 weeks of recordings, facilitators evaluation and self-assessments, all as a part of my placement. I have had a month to do it all, yet I have left it to this last week and cramming it all into late nights.

Motivation? None.

John Piper: 'Finally Alive'

I've started reading John Piper's Finally Alive. From the introductory section, before the first chapter, I was engrossed. The book talks about the 'New Birth'.

I'm on the 4th chapter and I started reading it two days ago. This is the first John Piper book I have read, and surprised by my own intellect I was able to understand it... so far.

He talks about what the 'New Birth' is: death to the old self, and new birth in the Holy Spirit through faith in Jesus.
He will go on to talk about how it happens and what that means to our Journey and how we relate to others.

It's a pretty small book, so I'd definitely recommend it. I'll keep an update on my progress as I read it. Pray that God speaks to me as I read it.

Love Your Neighbour...part I :: naked

Two greatest commandments:

1. Love your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength :: Ok, fair enough. I can see that is a pretty simple commandment to understand.
2. Love your neighbour as yourself :: Wait, that's it? Just do that? Why? What for?

Thinking about this a bit more, and based on something I heard previously, I came to a conclusion which revolutionized how I thought about outreach, mission and ultimately the whole Christian life.

Jesus' reply couldn't have been more simple, yet more profound.

Love your neighbour. That's it, nothing more, nothing added. Today it's hard for Christians not to add anything onto that. For example we add:

Love your neighbour... so you have a bigger reward in Heaven.
Love your neighbour... so they become a Christian.
Love your neighbour... so they think of Christians differently.

Now I know from first-hand experience how hard it is to love your neighbour without thinkning of the future consequences, or the possible good that would come out of it. Also, these reasons can be a great motivation in getting stuck in with the whole neighbour love too.

BUT... whenever we put reasons, conditions or consequences onto this statement, we give ourselves a measure as to whether we fulfill this commandment. In other words, we measure the people by the chances of the reason being fulfilled; and if they don't meet up to a high probability then we often say, "there's no point".

For example:

Two people with similar circumstance who are on the same level of relationship with you. One used to go to Church and is more open-minded. The other had bad experiences with a Christian and has totally closed themselves off to God.

Which one would you make more of an effort to show love. It's easy to love them, but showing it is another matter. Perhaps it's the more open-minded neihbour since there's the possibility that they become a Christian...

Whatever the case, we shouldn't think about reasons or future probabilities of coming to faith with that person. Jesus said love your neighbour. Love them and show it. If we are to show love by baking them a cake, cutting their grass, helping them out with next month's bill... then Jesus will worry about the future. He's got the plan worked out, he'll soften their heart and he'll do the business.

It's simple a change of mindset, that can really change how we relate to people. Church is about people. Loving them. Showing them love in a world that lacks it.

Jesus: "So here it is guys,
love your neighbour." Stripped

Our Deepest Fear

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be, brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the Glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us: it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Nelson Mandela

What if...

What if it could actually happen?
I mean Ballysillan has 'BlueHouses'. Why can't an estate in Antrim like Ballycraigy have 'RedHouses'?
What if RISE Project was behind it?

What if I was one of the full-time Youth Workers there? I mean it'd be another 2 years anyway before I graduated. What if RISE raised enough money to buy two houses to renovate, painted them red, and did proper Community Youth Work?

That is the Church. That's the vision. Back in the day of sandals, people like Paul, Peter, and John probably thought it would be like this anyway in the future. It's expected. Imagine...

Imagine the community was behind us.
Supported what we were doing.
Was happy to see young people have an outlet.

We gave them fun activities, which were in a safe and warm environment.
We ran programs on anti-social behavior, homework help, give them help with driving theory tests, created a safe environment for their bonfire celebrations. We supported their development, while they supported our growth in the community.

What if volunteers came and helped out regularly. They built relationships with the young people, and they came to the realization that they'd rather have an education then have drugs and alcohol.

What if...



...you never know